"What
is
hateful to you, do not do to others…" R' Hillel
When correcting others,
one must be careful not to embarrass them in public. No one
here wants to embarrass or hurt another on purpose, but sometimes we do
so inadvertently. Here are some tips on how to correct with
kindness.
If noise is the problem and an individual does not get the
message
simply by waiting, it would be better to take the individual out of the
sanctuary to speak to them rather than announcing the issue to the
whole congregation. If one must make a general
announcement, it should be simple directions, and not contain any words
of rebuke.
Begin the correction with something positive: "We
are so glad
you are here, you add so much to our shul."
State the problem in a kind way:
"Probably you didn't realize that your voice/your baby's voice carried
to the rest of the shul and makes it hard for people to
concentrate. I am sure if you realized that, you would have
gone to the kiddish room to speak/ gone out to calm your baby and then
returned."
End on a positive note, with a kind voice, and a smile when
appropriate. "Thank you so much for your
understanding. We really are glad to have you here and we
hope you will come to our shul often."
Remember that people of all ages can be embarrassed and hurt.
We would not like to be embarrassed or hurt, so we should
strive to be kind in our rebuke.
